I am here today to talk about love, my current state of depression, and relationships. And of course by talk I mean I am going to ramble on until I feel like stopping. :{P (Smiley with a mustache)
What is love? (baby don't hurt me) I had to make that joke. But seriously what is love, how does one describe the sensation of being in love. How many of my readers have ever been in love. I have, once. A while ago though. I don't think I am capable of explaining the feeling in words.
Onwards because I forgot what I was getting at earlier. So ya currently I am kind of depressed, which sucks. Like I mentioned earlier I was in love a long time ago, and I have not had a relationship since. :( Ok so I was at my friend Lewis' party the other day and we were chilling, having some drinks, having fun. When we started to crash and going to bed at like 3 me and this girl whose name I do not feel like mentioning were together. (NOTHING HAPPENED DON'T WORRY!) With that out of the way, ya so we were together holding each other close, and it made me feel so good again, like I did when I was in love. So the next day party ended every went home and now I am stuck wishing for that feeling again, and it is making me depressed.
I can not remember what I was going to mention about relationships so I will make a post on it alone when I remember.
Fly on. Fly free,
Avian Fang
P.S I HATE MOSQUITOS!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Civis inspiration
I was working on my civics homework last night because it was due today. Part of the project involved writing a small story. I expanded what I had written added a bit of gore and more details and I got this. I hope you like it tell me what you think.
The night was dark, the was hidden behind the clouds the hung over use like a vale over the dead. There was no breeze, sound at all. We were all afraid but I know everyone here was ready for what was about to happen. I could not have been more wrong.
We had planned this out and hoped it would work. I had taken us months to gather enough support without being noticed by the secret police force of the High Chancellor, our march was going to take us to the parliament building we over throw the ruling government that night by any means necessary. We decided that with enough support they would not be able to deny us what we rightfully deserved. Freedom.
We had waited until we felt safe and began our march. No one talked, the only sound that could be heard was the rustle of the cloths we wore and the fall of each footstep. As we marched others joined us, some old, some young. I feared for the youth, they did not understand what they were getting into. None of us did.
We saw the hill on which the parliament building stood, it was empty. Maybe we wont have to have any problems. I lead our rebellion up the hill towards the buildings. The courtyard was quite, the feeling of tension, fear, and anxiety was so strong it was almost a tangible being. Strong enough almost to be seen in the fog coming off the nearby ocean. The smell of the salt water hung in the air as we prepared ourselves to begin our rally.
No one moved but there was a rustle in the bushes. We could not see anything in the dark but we could defiantly hear something in the shadows. To our left, our right, behind, everywhere there was a rustling with nothing to be seen. Then the first of soldier emerged from the bushes, like a signal suddenly hundreds of secret police officers ran at us.
We had expected a violent revolution but we had hoped it would not happen. I did not bring any weapon thinking that it would encourage this reaction. Some of my companies were ready for this. We had knives, sticks, axes, pans, rocks, anything they could have brought. Our enemies were outfitted in armour brandishing swords, chains, and fierce looking clubs with metal spikes jutting out from all sides.
I saw the first man charge right for me, I waited, two more seconds, he came at me, sword unsheathed and full speed. Right before he was able to attack be I launched my self forwards, low to the ground and with a sweeping kick, knocked the warrior off the ground, his momentum carrying him a couple feet away in the battle with the rest of our armies. I ran over dove into the air and landed with both feet on the small of his back. I was sure I heard something crack. The man screamed in agony, I took the deadly blade from his hand and in once motion ended his suffering.
The wind picked up, the clouds started to clear from the sky and the bright red harvest moon shone above us. The light from the moon bathed our battle field in a red glow the blood of our enemies shone on our faces the blood of our allies showed us the way to our next target. I looked around and say many friends die. My best friend and the man who had inspired all of us to make this revolution turned to look at me. He smiled, showing that he was ok.
He was always someone you can trust, someone you could turn to for help. His ideas were revolutionary, he dreamed about ways of helping our village. We called him Fang, we always have. I don’t know what his real name is, or why we call him that, but to me that is his name.
I stared at him and saw someone coming up behind him. I yelled for him to move but it was to late. The man behind him was carrying a large wooden club with metal spikes on each side, with one swing he came across the side of the face of Fang. The man laughed at the brain’s that had thought of this whole rebellion and that were supposed to lead us flew into the night air. Blood exploded from the side of Fang’s head and in an instant he was dead.
I could not take it, Fang was not only our leader, but my brother. I charged the man with the club and before he knew it cut his head off. It flew into the air blood squirting out of the neck, covering my face. Before face of the man could hit the ground I swung again and halved the flying object. It landed on the ground and lay their. I let our a roar and ran into battle, blood covering my face, my already red hair highlighted by the blood of my enemy. I quickly slayed two more soldiers, a third I disarmed. By this I mean I amputated his arms from his body so he could no longer attack. I tears now filled my eyes as I realised what had happened and what was going on. I looked around and realised that the soldiers we were killing were also our friends. I saw Mr. Todd from the butcher shop cleave his way through one of the protesters. This was a civil war everyone fighting and dieing are one of us.
I know I could have done better with descriptions of people appearance and I may re write this some time in order to accommodate for corrections if you want me to make them.
Fly on. Fly free,
Avian Fang
The night was dark, the was hidden behind the clouds the hung over use like a vale over the dead. There was no breeze, sound at all. We were all afraid but I know everyone here was ready for what was about to happen. I could not have been more wrong.
We had planned this out and hoped it would work. I had taken us months to gather enough support without being noticed by the secret police force of the High Chancellor, our march was going to take us to the parliament building we over throw the ruling government that night by any means necessary. We decided that with enough support they would not be able to deny us what we rightfully deserved. Freedom.
We had waited until we felt safe and began our march. No one talked, the only sound that could be heard was the rustle of the cloths we wore and the fall of each footstep. As we marched others joined us, some old, some young. I feared for the youth, they did not understand what they were getting into. None of us did.
We saw the hill on which the parliament building stood, it was empty. Maybe we wont have to have any problems. I lead our rebellion up the hill towards the buildings. The courtyard was quite, the feeling of tension, fear, and anxiety was so strong it was almost a tangible being. Strong enough almost to be seen in the fog coming off the nearby ocean. The smell of the salt water hung in the air as we prepared ourselves to begin our rally.
No one moved but there was a rustle in the bushes. We could not see anything in the dark but we could defiantly hear something in the shadows. To our left, our right, behind, everywhere there was a rustling with nothing to be seen. Then the first of soldier emerged from the bushes, like a signal suddenly hundreds of secret police officers ran at us.
We had expected a violent revolution but we had hoped it would not happen. I did not bring any weapon thinking that it would encourage this reaction. Some of my companies were ready for this. We had knives, sticks, axes, pans, rocks, anything they could have brought. Our enemies were outfitted in armour brandishing swords, chains, and fierce looking clubs with metal spikes jutting out from all sides.
I saw the first man charge right for me, I waited, two more seconds, he came at me, sword unsheathed and full speed. Right before he was able to attack be I launched my self forwards, low to the ground and with a sweeping kick, knocked the warrior off the ground, his momentum carrying him a couple feet away in the battle with the rest of our armies. I ran over dove into the air and landed with both feet on the small of his back. I was sure I heard something crack. The man screamed in agony, I took the deadly blade from his hand and in once motion ended his suffering.
The wind picked up, the clouds started to clear from the sky and the bright red harvest moon shone above us. The light from the moon bathed our battle field in a red glow the blood of our enemies shone on our faces the blood of our allies showed us the way to our next target. I looked around and say many friends die. My best friend and the man who had inspired all of us to make this revolution turned to look at me. He smiled, showing that he was ok.
He was always someone you can trust, someone you could turn to for help. His ideas were revolutionary, he dreamed about ways of helping our village. We called him Fang, we always have. I don’t know what his real name is, or why we call him that, but to me that is his name.
I stared at him and saw someone coming up behind him. I yelled for him to move but it was to late. The man behind him was carrying a large wooden club with metal spikes on each side, with one swing he came across the side of the face of Fang. The man laughed at the brain’s that had thought of this whole rebellion and that were supposed to lead us flew into the night air. Blood exploded from the side of Fang’s head and in an instant he was dead.
I could not take it, Fang was not only our leader, but my brother. I charged the man with the club and before he knew it cut his head off. It flew into the air blood squirting out of the neck, covering my face. Before face of the man could hit the ground I swung again and halved the flying object. It landed on the ground and lay their. I let our a roar and ran into battle, blood covering my face, my already red hair highlighted by the blood of my enemy. I quickly slayed two more soldiers, a third I disarmed. By this I mean I amputated his arms from his body so he could no longer attack. I tears now filled my eyes as I realised what had happened and what was going on. I looked around and realised that the soldiers we were killing were also our friends. I saw Mr. Todd from the butcher shop cleave his way through one of the protesters. This was a civil war everyone fighting and dieing are one of us.
I know I could have done better with descriptions of people appearance and I may re write this some time in order to accommodate for corrections if you want me to make them.
Fly on. Fly free,
Avian Fang
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
ROWING STORY.
Rowing calls/terminology
Squaring - blades are perpendicular to the water. This is when you actual move the water in the stroke.
Feathering - Blades are parallel with the water. This is after the stroke when recovering getting ready for the next stroke.
Recovery - After finishing a stroke the time in between when you return to the catch.
Catch - Where the stroke begins at the top of the slide arms out.
Slide - A metal track on the boat the allows the seat to move and helps generate power from the legs.
Hard 10 - The next 10 strokes are with extra power.
Rate/ stroke rate - The number of strokes taken in one minute.
7 up - Not the pop a rowing strategy. Ever 7 strokes up the rate and power.
Crab - When your oar is stuck in the water and it is hard to get out.
I waited at the starting the gate. The air was cold around me, the ridiculously small amount of cloths we had for out “uniform” didn’t help much either. We were wearing a red spandex singlet and black spandex shorts, that was it. My hair still red in the sunlight seemed dull after last night hair massacre with the shaver. Alas I was proud to be wearing my new faux hawk. The changed direction on us going cross wise in the river. That’s good I thought It will give us an advantage. My partner and I were used to rowing in unfavourable weather conditions for the sport. I hated the waiting, I was nervous, oh so nervous. I sat there ready, my heart beating like crazy, barely able to control myself, and waited, and waited. It felt like hours but was probably less than a minute. Everyone was concentrating, ready for the race that was about to begin. Then the worst part of the race; the calling of school. I heard them call the schools in order.
“Lane 1! Lane 2! Lane 3! Lane 4!” That was us. My starting racing a shifted my position and waited for the announcer to finish the call.
“All rowers up to the catch”
“Attention!” (Square the blades at the top of the catch so you are ready to row.
“READY!”
My heart nearly skipped a beat as I waited. I hate the waiting, it kills me. It was like the whole world stood still for a second all rowers waited for the one call.
“ROW!!!”
My boat took off as fast as we could. We did our usual racing start. 10x half strokes. 1x really long stroke and then 20x powerful strokes. We started rowing I missed my first stroke which was bad but I was able to catch up. We went down and I could feel water cascading over me with every stroke. Remind me to teach my partener how not to splash the bow seat next time.
I looked back to make sure we didn’t hit anyone. I hate sitting in the back it adds a lot more pressure because I have to make sure we stay on course. For once we were keeping a straight path. I saw that we were a head of two boats but behind three others. I saw the 500 meter sign come up.
“HARD 10!” I yelled. Another reason I don’t like bow is I have to give all the commands. Oye it’s complicated. We picked up the rate and I could already feel myself getting really tired. Breaths came hard, and we were only at the 1000 meter mark. Half way their. It had already been about 3 minutes, but with rowing those 3 minutes are hell and the next 3 are even worse. I cought a crab on my left side which slowed us down a lot and I knew my partner would be pissed. I quickly feathered the blade and got right back into rhythm. I could hear now the cheers and yells of our school.
“HARD 20! LETS GIVE THEM A SHOW” We picked up the rate and gave it even more power. I wish I had not given that command. The stroke had increased also and I was already to tired to keep it out easily. We kept rowing we were still ahead of the two crews we had been beating this whole time but the other three boats were way to fair away to catch up to. We past the 1500 mark.
“LAST 500 LET’S PICK IT UP!” I was already out of breath yelling was not helping me at all. We picked the rate up again getting ready for our final sprint. 400 , 350, 300 ,250. It was time for the final stretch. “7 UP!” We picked up the rate we were now at around 40 strokes a minute and killing ourselves. The last 250 seemed to drag on forever, I was tired, cold, and exhausted. We had to give it everything we had though” 4, 5, 6, 7, “7 UP!” Again we picked up the rate and again I almost missed the stroke. 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5, 6, 7 “7 UP” We were now at a full sprint our rate was higher than usually and I was giving it everything I could. 50 meters left. I couldn’t breathe anymore but we had to finish. We completed the last 5-6 strokes and I was dead. I could not move, or think, I just sat there.
We came in 4th that race, it was by far our best race of the season. I was so tired and sore I couldn’t even row the boat back to the docks for a while. My arms had locked up and I could barely move them. I was breathing so heavily I am sure my partner must have thought I was having an attack of some sorts. The race was over, the thrill, excitement, fear, had past, unfortunately the pain was just beginning. My arms were killing me and my legs were weak, I felt sick in my stomach. This is the best feeling ever. It may sound weird but it is the best feeling. The water had finally stopped cascading over my from my partner but I was not cold I was boiling, the sun was out and bright.
The race was over, rowing season was finished. I would give anything to race that race again. It is all worth it, every second of pain, hardship, is worth the excitement, fun, and thrill of the race.
Well I hope this helped understand rowing. I may be rambling on at the end. It is unedited but I wanted to type it out and I hope I didn’t miss anything. Please tell me what you think about it
Squaring - blades are perpendicular to the water. This is when you actual move the water in the stroke.
Feathering - Blades are parallel with the water. This is after the stroke when recovering getting ready for the next stroke.
Recovery - After finishing a stroke the time in between when you return to the catch.
Catch - Where the stroke begins at the top of the slide arms out.
Slide - A metal track on the boat the allows the seat to move and helps generate power from the legs.
Hard 10 - The next 10 strokes are with extra power.
Rate/ stroke rate - The number of strokes taken in one minute.
7 up - Not the pop a rowing strategy. Ever 7 strokes up the rate and power.
Crab - When your oar is stuck in the water and it is hard to get out.
I waited at the starting the gate. The air was cold around me, the ridiculously small amount of cloths we had for out “uniform” didn’t help much either. We were wearing a red spandex singlet and black spandex shorts, that was it. My hair still red in the sunlight seemed dull after last night hair massacre with the shaver. Alas I was proud to be wearing my new faux hawk. The changed direction on us going cross wise in the river. That’s good I thought It will give us an advantage. My partner and I were used to rowing in unfavourable weather conditions for the sport. I hated the waiting, I was nervous, oh so nervous. I sat there ready, my heart beating like crazy, barely able to control myself, and waited, and waited. It felt like hours but was probably less than a minute. Everyone was concentrating, ready for the race that was about to begin. Then the worst part of the race; the calling of school. I heard them call the schools in order.
“Lane 1! Lane 2! Lane 3! Lane 4!” That was us. My starting racing a shifted my position and waited for the announcer to finish the call.
“All rowers up to the catch”
“Attention!” (Square the blades at the top of the catch so you are ready to row.
“READY!”
My heart nearly skipped a beat as I waited. I hate the waiting, it kills me. It was like the whole world stood still for a second all rowers waited for the one call.
“ROW!!!”
My boat took off as fast as we could. We did our usual racing start. 10x half strokes. 1x really long stroke and then 20x powerful strokes. We started rowing I missed my first stroke which was bad but I was able to catch up. We went down and I could feel water cascading over me with every stroke. Remind me to teach my partener how not to splash the bow seat next time.
I looked back to make sure we didn’t hit anyone. I hate sitting in the back it adds a lot more pressure because I have to make sure we stay on course. For once we were keeping a straight path. I saw that we were a head of two boats but behind three others. I saw the 500 meter sign come up.
“HARD 10!” I yelled. Another reason I don’t like bow is I have to give all the commands. Oye it’s complicated. We picked up the rate and I could already feel myself getting really tired. Breaths came hard, and we were only at the 1000 meter mark. Half way their. It had already been about 3 minutes, but with rowing those 3 minutes are hell and the next 3 are even worse. I cought a crab on my left side which slowed us down a lot and I knew my partner would be pissed. I quickly feathered the blade and got right back into rhythm. I could hear now the cheers and yells of our school.
“HARD 20! LETS GIVE THEM A SHOW” We picked up the rate and gave it even more power. I wish I had not given that command. The stroke had increased also and I was already to tired to keep it out easily. We kept rowing we were still ahead of the two crews we had been beating this whole time but the other three boats were way to fair away to catch up to. We past the 1500 mark.
“LAST 500 LET’S PICK IT UP!” I was already out of breath yelling was not helping me at all. We picked the rate up again getting ready for our final sprint. 400 , 350, 300 ,250. It was time for the final stretch. “7 UP!” We picked up the rate we were now at around 40 strokes a minute and killing ourselves. The last 250 seemed to drag on forever, I was tired, cold, and exhausted. We had to give it everything we had though” 4, 5, 6, 7, “7 UP!” Again we picked up the rate and again I almost missed the stroke. 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5, 6, 7 “7 UP” We were now at a full sprint our rate was higher than usually and I was giving it everything I could. 50 meters left. I couldn’t breathe anymore but we had to finish. We completed the last 5-6 strokes and I was dead. I could not move, or think, I just sat there.
We came in 4th that race, it was by far our best race of the season. I was so tired and sore I couldn’t even row the boat back to the docks for a while. My arms had locked up and I could barely move them. I was breathing so heavily I am sure my partner must have thought I was having an attack of some sorts. The race was over, the thrill, excitement, fear, had past, unfortunately the pain was just beginning. My arms were killing me and my legs were weak, I felt sick in my stomach. This is the best feeling ever. It may sound weird but it is the best feeling. The water had finally stopped cascading over my from my partner but I was not cold I was boiling, the sun was out and bright.
The race was over, rowing season was finished. I would give anything to race that race again. It is all worth it, every second of pain, hardship, is worth the excitement, fun, and thrill of the race.
Well I hope this helped understand rowing. I may be rambling on at the end. It is unedited but I wanted to type it out and I hope I didn’t miss anything. Please tell me what you think about it
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
everything at once...
Right now I am personally stressed out more than I like to be, this happens about twice a year around exam times. This time it is worse because of other things so I am going to just type everything I am feeling, thinking, and hope it makes me feel better. Comment, add your own stories, vent, w/e you want.
Alright so here we go:
ROWING. I love rowing it is my favorite sport that I am in, but at the moment I hate my partner. I really hate letting people down and making it so they can't do their best, and he is a better rower than me so when I mess up it really effects the both of us. (I row in a double, which if you don't know what the means it is a shell {a boat} with each rower has two oars one for each side.) Alright so not only do I know I am messing us up, but we now he is starting to get mad at me which really pisses me off because I don't like people yelling at me, so then I go harder which usually makes me mess up more. Arg it's horrible, so now I want to quit rowing for the season which is only like 4 more days and my coach says it isn't fair to my partner if I quit. And because I don't want to get my partner in trouble because he really hasn't done anything wrong, since he should tell me when I make mistakes I can't tell my coach why I want to quit. This added on with the rest of the stress I have which Ill explain in a minute is driving me insane.
SCHOOL: At the moment in my school we are nearing the final bit of classes and starting ISU's (independant study units.) and studying for exams. The Isu's are not hard but take a lot of time and reaseach. I don't like research so I tend to put that off, which makes me more stressed out because they are due soon. School is not all that entertaining and hard to get into and I don't like going some times. Also I am tired all day because I have to get up at 5.00 in the morning to do rowing which makes me tired, which makes me sleep because my classes are boring, so I miss some classes, and I am then farther behind in the class. This wouldn't be a problem but I am determinded to do good in school which makes me want to do good on everything which is more stressful becuase I can't just do only half effort on any projects.
VIDEO GAMES: This shouldn't be a problem with stress but instead a stress reliever and in most cases it is. But it turns out I have a very addictive personallity and LOVE playing my videogames. Which never was a problem until now because before I would do my work play my games but now I have to concentrate on my school work and I can't play as much as I would like and it makes me feel bad, kind of like a crack addict without his fix. Ill admit I have a problem especially because I just said I was like a crack addict without my fix of video games. Oh my god what has my world come to.
Random stuff now. I have been trying to write more with my story again thinking it would help calm me down which it didn't because I can't seem to find the right way to start my stories or chapters which is annoying because then I am discouraged from writting anymore and feel bad about not being able to write anymore.
I am a big fan of the enviorment as hopefully many of you are but I found this kind of funny. Think of an electric car, alright. Would you say it is helpful to the enviorment. Yes or No?
Alright now think about this: In most cases a cities elecricity comes from the burning of coal, natural gases, and other polutants. These electric which are seen as so green because they themselves do not emit green house gasses use up a lot of electricity which in turns uses the green houses gasses. So then which is better electric or regualr if they both use these polutants.
That is enough for me. I think this is like 2 pages of ranting. If you made it this far congrats and thank you for reading.
Fly on. Fly free, Se onr sverdar sitja hvass,
Avian Fang Brisingr Sverdar
(I have two aliases might as well include them both)
Alright so here we go:
ROWING. I love rowing it is my favorite sport that I am in, but at the moment I hate my partner. I really hate letting people down and making it so they can't do their best, and he is a better rower than me so when I mess up it really effects the both of us. (I row in a double, which if you don't know what the means it is a shell {a boat} with each rower has two oars one for each side.) Alright so not only do I know I am messing us up, but we now he is starting to get mad at me which really pisses me off because I don't like people yelling at me, so then I go harder which usually makes me mess up more. Arg it's horrible, so now I want to quit rowing for the season which is only like 4 more days and my coach says it isn't fair to my partner if I quit. And because I don't want to get my partner in trouble because he really hasn't done anything wrong, since he should tell me when I make mistakes I can't tell my coach why I want to quit. This added on with the rest of the stress I have which Ill explain in a minute is driving me insane.
SCHOOL: At the moment in my school we are nearing the final bit of classes and starting ISU's (independant study units.) and studying for exams. The Isu's are not hard but take a lot of time and reaseach. I don't like research so I tend to put that off, which makes me more stressed out because they are due soon. School is not all that entertaining and hard to get into and I don't like going some times. Also I am tired all day because I have to get up at 5.00 in the morning to do rowing which makes me tired, which makes me sleep because my classes are boring, so I miss some classes, and I am then farther behind in the class. This wouldn't be a problem but I am determinded to do good in school which makes me want to do good on everything which is more stressful becuase I can't just do only half effort on any projects.
VIDEO GAMES: This shouldn't be a problem with stress but instead a stress reliever and in most cases it is. But it turns out I have a very addictive personallity and LOVE playing my videogames. Which never was a problem until now because before I would do my work play my games but now I have to concentrate on my school work and I can't play as much as I would like and it makes me feel bad, kind of like a crack addict without his fix. Ill admit I have a problem especially because I just said I was like a crack addict without my fix of video games. Oh my god what has my world come to.
Random stuff now. I have been trying to write more with my story again thinking it would help calm me down which it didn't because I can't seem to find the right way to start my stories or chapters which is annoying because then I am discouraged from writting anymore and feel bad about not being able to write anymore.
I am a big fan of the enviorment as hopefully many of you are but I found this kind of funny. Think of an electric car, alright. Would you say it is helpful to the enviorment. Yes or No?
Alright now think about this: In most cases a cities elecricity comes from the burning of coal, natural gases, and other polutants. These electric which are seen as so green because they themselves do not emit green house gasses use up a lot of electricity which in turns uses the green houses gasses. So then which is better electric or regualr if they both use these polutants.
That is enough for me. I think this is like 2 pages of ranting. If you made it this far congrats and thank you for reading.
Fly on. Fly free, Se onr sverdar sitja hvass,
Avian Fang Brisingr Sverdar
(I have two aliases might as well include them both)
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