I took your advice and added more detail into my story.
Thump, thump
Thump, thump
I could hear my heart pounding as I raced around the corner. I could hear the water droplets hitting the wet stones I continued running down the hallway, my only light all but a few torches who’s dancing fire cast an ominous light around the corridor. Then I started hearing a faint sound that grew louder and louder as I approached the area. All I could see a heavily armoured door locked and sealed so that nothing could get in or out. I didn’t know what I could do but I knew that I needed to past my latest obstacle, I thought about how I was going to get past and I thought for too long because before I knew it I saw a blood soaked blade jutting out of the front of my chest but strangely I could not feel anything. I turned around in time to see the sword being pulled out of my chest and lunged in to my heart. All color faded from my vision and I was falling, falling, falling…
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Wow, that was even better! Totally amazing, and I have nothing to suggest, except that your fourth sentence of the paragraph is kind of run-on. It could be two or three separate sentences if you wanted it to be, or you could leave it, because it does add to the suspense. : )
already_in_the_air
Post a Comment