I did not expect to be able to get this done this early in the week.
Chapter 2
I ventured into the dark cave, the light of the morning sun disappeared behind me, dark emptiness in front of me. As I swam I could feel a change in the water, it was colder and felt more enclosed. The absence of light made knowing anything else impossible, I could not see the walls or even guess how long the tunnel was. This could be dangerous, you should turn back, I thought to myself but there was something, in my heart I knew I had to go onwards. I could not see but I could feel the walls of the cave begin to narrow down. My stomach was starving for air now. I knew I could not turn back most of my air was gone and I would not make it, I had only one option, I had to go in, deeper into the darkness. The walls had become so tight now that instead of swimming I had to push off of them, the process was faster but I had no control. Above me, down the tunnel I was in there was a small circle of light. I am going to make it, I pushed off the walls hard going as fast as I could, and flew down the passage.
"AGH!!" I screamed letting all the rest of my oxygen out. Not the smartest of ideas screaming at a time like this, I was to concern with the sudden pain in my right leg to realize the humor in the fact that I was about to die and I am making sarcastic comments to myself. I looked down and with the light just in front of me saw that a jagged rock had embedded itself into my leg. As far as I could see the cut was about my hands length, right now the sensitive muscle of my leg. It was bleeding out and changing the water all around me. My vision began to go black, the pain, loss of blood, and lack of oxygen all weakening me. I knew I was about to die. I pushed off the wall with all my remaining strength, I felt the rock cut through the rest of my leg then let go of me. I was free, floating towards the light.
Suddenly it all went black...
Tell me what you think, Thanks.
Fly on. Live free,
Avian Fang
6 comments:
Oooooo, scary! That was awesome!!! I can't wait to see what's going on, and the suspenseful ending was great! Write more! Soon! :)
While I was writing the end I knew I had to have this chapter end this way. I am working on chapter three already I don't know when it will be up.
P.S Do you have an criticism for me?
Fly on. Live free,
Avian Fang
Oh, did you want criticism? I may have thought it was perfect, you know. :)
OK, at your insistence, here is my (hopefully constructive) criticism:
You may want to put thoughts of the main character in Italics just to distinguish them as separate narration from the first person vs inside the character's head.
That's it! Short, huh? Also, this chapter reminds me just a very little bit of the short story "Through the Tunnel". Have you ever read? my crazy English teacher made us, but it was actually OK.
i thought that was a good chapter...but i would like to know more about the main charcter though.
smo
Great story!
Watch out for puntuation though! =)
Yea Tea I have heard that so many times. Punctuation is my greatest problem when I write. I will try and fix that. On a side note I tried writing other things again and will post them soon.
Avian Fang
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