everything at once...

Right now I am personally stressed out more than I like to be, this happens about twice a year around exam times. This time it is worse because of other things so I am going to just type everything I am feeling, thinking, and hope it makes me feel better. Comment, add your own stories, vent, w/e you want.

Alright so here we go:

ROWING. I love rowing it is my favorite sport that I am in, but at the moment I hate my partner. I really hate letting people down and making it so they can't do their best, and he is a better rower than me so when I mess up it really effects the both of us. (I row in a double, which if you don't know what the means it is a shell {a boat} with each rower has two oars one for each side.) Alright so not only do I know I am messing us up, but we now he is starting to get mad at me which really pisses me off because I don't like people yelling at me, so then I go harder which usually makes me mess up more. Arg it's horrible, so now I want to quit rowing for the season which is only like 4 more days and my coach says it isn't fair to my partner if I quit. And because I don't want to get my partner in trouble because he really hasn't done anything wrong, since he should tell me when I make mistakes I can't tell my coach why I want to quit. This added on with the rest of the stress I have which Ill explain in a minute is driving me insane.

SCHOOL: At the moment in my school we are nearing the final bit of classes and starting ISU's (independant study units.) and studying for exams. The Isu's are not hard but take a lot of time and reaseach. I don't like research so I tend to put that off, which makes me more stressed out because they are due soon. School is not all that entertaining and hard to get into and I don't like going some times. Also I am tired all day because I have to get up at 5.00 in the morning to do rowing which makes me tired, which makes me sleep because my classes are boring, so I miss some classes, and I am then farther behind in the class. This wouldn't be a problem but I am determinded to do good in school which makes me want to do good on everything which is more stressful becuase I can't just do only half effort on any projects.

VIDEO GAMES: This shouldn't be a problem with stress but instead a stress reliever and in most cases it is. But it turns out I have a very addictive personallity and LOVE playing my videogames. Which never was a problem until now because before I would do my work play my games but now I have to concentrate on my school work and I can't play as much as I would like and it makes me feel bad, kind of like a crack addict without his fix. Ill admit I have a problem especially because I just said I was like a crack addict without my fix of video games. Oh my god what has my world come to.

Random stuff now. I have been trying to write more with my story again thinking it would help calm me down which it didn't because I can't seem to find the right way to start my stories or chapters which is annoying because then I am discouraged from writting anymore and feel bad about not being able to write anymore.

I am a big fan of the enviorment as hopefully many of you are but I found this kind of funny. Think of an electric car, alright. Would you say it is helpful to the enviorment. Yes or No?
Alright now think about this: In most cases a cities elecricity comes from the burning of coal, natural gases, and other polutants. These electric which are seen as so green because they themselves do not emit green house gasses use up a lot of electricity which in turns uses the green houses gasses. So then which is better electric or regualr if they both use these polutants.

That is enough for me. I think this is like 2 pages of ranting. If you made it this far congrats and thank you for reading.

Fly on. Fly free, Se onr sverdar sitja hvass,

Avian Fang Brisingr Sverdar


(I have two aliases might as well include them both)