I am going to rant right now. This is for me because when I do these rants it helps relieve myself of excess emotion and sometimes help me think straight again. This rant is for me. If you want to read it be my guest but it will probably have no relation to anyone else. This will be the first I will make one every time I go insane over the next three weeks. (Continue reading to find out why I will be going insane.)
Viva la Ranting
Alright so my girlfriend Erica is going to Newfoundland for like 3 weeks. Which is awesome because NFLD is an amazing place she can see her family and it should be a lot of fun. The only problem is. I am pretty sure I love her and having to spend three weeks without being see her is fucking torture. Seriously I spent like not even two days and I was boarder lining a mental break down. That was like 36 hours. Tops. Now she will be gone for 540 hours minimum. I am not sure if I am going to make it.
So while she is gone I am going to be making a lot of rant posts because for some reason as of late my emotions have been well actually working and I am starting to feel a lot of stuff. This is annoying because I am used to feeling little to nothing and not having to worry about my emotions. This also means that I am not sure how to deal with everything at the time and therefore tend to break down a little. To help protect myself I am going to make many rants so that my brain does not have to be constantly thinking about a lot of stuff at one time. If anyone who manages to read up to this point has any other methods for stopping mental break downs please help me.
I also would like to know from my audience roughly how old are you guys. I don't want to stalk you are anything but knowing my audience will help me decided what I should and should not talk about in my post in general I try not to offend when possible but it would help if I knew.
Has anyone else felt this way before. I hope not because it fricken sucks but at the same time I know I feel this way because I am missing someone who means so much to me. Do you guys think it is good to feel this way. Cat I am talking to you specifically now because you are usually such a bug help. I NEED ADVICE I AM NOT USED TO THIS!!!
Arg I hate this but I don't think I should. See this is the problem I am confusing myself and it leads me to being almost completely shut down in some cases.
Thats all for now.
Fly on. Fly free,
Avian Fang
5 comments:
No duh you're going crazy! Stop suppressing your emotions! Right now, as you read this, take a GIANT BREATH very deeply, and hold it. Don't let it out yet. Just don't think at all. Now SLOWLY let the breath out, feel your lungs emptying, release in a timeframe of about 7 seconds. Repeat if necessary.
OK, if that didn't work, try doing some yoga later (and read some poetry and climb a tree and paint a picture of a bowl of fruit--no matter if you think you're good at painting or not). But right now, just read this comment.
Your feelings are normal, of course. I'm pretty sure everyone feels like this at one point or another, and yeah, it 99.99568% of the time means the person loves someone. (For the record, I have felt like this. Unrequitedly, which sucks, but still. I'm mostly over it now. After three years....) Returning to you.
You probably are going to go entirely insane. Temporarily. And be prepared to suffer from withdrawl, and possibly feel entirely out of sorts until your girlfriend comes back. Ask her to send you a postcard or something, or a letter. Handwritten things are such an amazing source of comfort. :)
And if you have any pictures, it either is the hugest help or most complete distruction to look at them as often as possible. I can't say, it varies by who the person is and by what their day was like as they look at the picture....
Well, other than that, I have not much else to suggest. Spend lots of time with people who remind you nothing of her, just so you don't become the type of person who is controlling or OCD over their other half. (I'm not saying you will be, but it can happen to the most unlikely people. Total LMN type moments.) Hanging out with other people is helpful so that your emotions can be brought into balance by happiness. No need to be a basket case the whole three weeks. :)
good luck,
me
PS: I am absolutely fully serious about you doing yoga.
AND reading poetry (I suggest Robert Frost, he's my favorite, or anyone else you know of yourself).
AND climbing a tree.
AND painting a picture of a bowl of fruit.
These will fill your time, you will (you WILL, there is no option) learn something new about life/yourself/something else, and they will support your mental health. Just do it. :)
Thank you x 100. (Cause I am lazy)
Yoga and meditation use to be the best part of my Tuesdays and Thursdays. But alas I do not do that anymore because it was a school thing.
Thank you for the insight and I figured out that if I try not to think about her it does help. We talk on msn a lot. (Currently talking to her.)
If I find out her address I might send a post card to be romantic. So what happened with your unrequited love. Feel free not to answer if you don't want to.
Thank you again. You may he just saved by sanity.
Fly on. Fly free,
Avian Fang
I love climbing trees so that is a given that I will do that anyway. Personally I prefer Omar Khayyam and Edger Alan Poe. A little Shakespeare now and then might help. I don't paint fruit, I paint small models of characters from Lord of the Rings because that's how cool I am. Lol. I might try yoga again but meditation is far more appropriate for me.
Thanks again. I did not get ur second message until after I posted the first.
Haha, that's fine. :)
The painting fruit thing... it's a classic! Even if it's not now, you should really really paint a bowl of fruit at some point in your life. Or at least paint a single fruit. It doesn't have to be detailed or anything, just like, a pear or a pomegranate or something. I highly recommend it. Just because.
It's good you're talking to her! But doesn't that require thinking about her? And you said.... No, kidding. Ignore me. (Well, just right here.)
And yeah.... I'd rather not divulge the secrets of my unrequited love experience at the moment. Maybe sometime on AIM if you remind me. (I just don't want to talk about the guy on the Internet where the world could see it, you know.)
I like Edger Alan Poe, but his work can be a bit dark. But then, Frost's "Acquainted With The Night" is slightly dark as well. (Kind of reminds me of Poe's "Alone", a little.) I like both poets, but I am likely always going to like Frost more I suppose.
me
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